You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
Apparently I signed "I love you" on my bar tab last night.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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