How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
Randomize
