A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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