Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize