i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
