Kiss
Puke
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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