Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
40s are totally the cure
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
HAPPY BIRTHDAY I ATE TOO MUCH OF AN EDIBLE AND TOLD MY BARISTA I LOVED HER
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
Randomize
