found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
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Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
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