By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
Randomize
