Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
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