I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
