The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Randomize