The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Randomize