I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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