Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
50% drunk capacity currently
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Randomize
