Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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