her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Randomize
