How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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