He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Then he complimented me on how excellent I was at breathing through my nose
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
I hooked up with a British man... Wiz Khalifa has your bra... Couldn't have been a more successful night!
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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