Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
