this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Randomize
