eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Are you sexting with minion stickers right now?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
How the hell do you misplace a bag of tacos in a closet?
I think it's important to not involve Bar Food in any near future decisions.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
