so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
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College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
How old am I that I had to sneak a boy out of my room this morning...
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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