im holly from the hills drunk
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
It's not mothers day until you're vomitting syrup into grandma's toilet. Cherish the holidays
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
He was jealous of me and threatened by me. I'm like, just cause I could fuck your girlfriend doesn't mean I'm going to
She's not even my type. She doesn't have a penis or a drug problem
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
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