He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
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