I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
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The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
The beauty of getting kicked out of college again is I can fuck my professor's brains out and she can't get fired now
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