As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
Randomize
