Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Sitting on the curb by new england comics with a weeping drunk girl who's eating french fries saying she'll never be as successful as her sister the hand model. She's scaring the nerds.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
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