the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
My vagina is very pro this idea
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
