i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
I’ve gotta be honest, I didn’t expect to have sex. I didn’t shave... anything. You couldn’t have been impressed.
Randomize
