Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think they called the cops after 15 minutes of you shaking their clothes line like the ultimate warrior and calling out hulk hogan
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
im lying in bed trying to choke myself out because being awake hurts too much
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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