I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you told grandpa to call you daddy
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I sent him a cookie cake that said "Congratulations you're not a father"
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Hurry I'm alone dressed like a prostitute eating French fries.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
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