Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
this is an emotional support booty call
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
