there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
I've never seen the starbucks guy more terrified than when you dove out the car window after your credit card
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I saved him in my phone as "Well-Hung Burrito Savior." I love Taco Tuesday.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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