turns out a healthy dose of cleavage is the equivalent of a swig of felix felicis
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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