It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
I don't think eating half of a pickle out of my mouth counts as getting to know me
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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