thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
As for the other mouse...I don't have any mouse traps so I put a Jell-O shot on the ground. Party hard little dude.
Randomize
