Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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