drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I just loudly threatened to kill a self checkout machine
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
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