I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
