i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I just almost caught my floor on fire, then decided I could put it out with my knuckles! So I'm doing good!
I keeping finding meatballs in random places
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
