I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
