She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Yea...coming from the girl who didn't understand why m&ms and tequila wasn't a "suitable diet"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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