so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Randomize
