3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
