I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
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