It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize
