Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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