doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Why do I know about what dicks have been in your mouth but didn't know you had a dog? What kind of friends are we??
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
