I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Thanks for telling my landlord that the poop stain was yours and not my secret dog.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
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