Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
