And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
