i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
The only thing I have to prove last night happened is a fireman's hat full of puke.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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