I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
