curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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