They have a pepper shaker for pot.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
my head hurts. i need an adult
and not like a cool parent adult. like a full fledged party pooper grandparent adult
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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