my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
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