In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Randomize
