Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Randomize
