After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
